With this ring, I give you my promise that from this day forward,
I give you all my
love,
And you shall not
walk alone,
I have no greater
gift to give,
As your love is my
anchor,
And your trust is
my strength,
May my heart be
your shelter and my arms be your home.
As this ring has
no end or beginning,
So shall my love
for you be,
As I place it on
your finger,
I give you all
that I am,
And all that I
shall become,
Until death tears
us apart.
After having said these so enchanting and touching
words, in this big memorable event, which involves family and friends, however,
we still divorce. Why?
I
have seen a girl weeping, spending sleepless nights and heartbroken, after a
great deception of a relationship, she had thought perfect. Few months later,
she ran towards me, embraced me, in a great joy and told me that she was now in
another relationship in which she could never regret her breakup with the
previous boyfriend. I got shocked, trying to understand the way this girl had
once loved my friend Peter for six years. How could it be, I scratched my head,
trying to grasp the subtle nature of human romantic relationships. From that
day, I started reflecting on each romantic relationship I had known, so as to understand
the core idea of who we really are.
Soul
mate is a confusing abstract concept, which is usually mistaken, misunderstood
and misused in our daily basis of communication. "Ooh! I love John, he is
my life and my soul mate, and I can’t imagine living without him “. Yes we say
this, and we all hear these expressions almost everywhere and every day but
what really lies behind these love curtains when people speak of soul mate. We
hardly understand to what extant does the concept soul mate really mean to
them.
One
of the American writers Richard Bach once defined soul mate as someone who has
locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to
open the locks, our truest selves, step out and we can be completely and
honestly who we are.
The
age-old concept of soul mate can be traced back to ancient Greece when Plato,
in his philosophical text, the symposium, presents a theory that humans
originally had four arms, four legs and a single head made up of two faces.
According to the theory, Zeus, wary of the powers humans had in this superhuman
form, split them in half, condemning them to lifetime searching for the other
half to become “whole" again. Australian
Natural Health.
Advanced English Dictionary defines soul mate as someone with whom one has a
special, almost spiritual connection.
A
soul mate is someone you have a very deep connection. It is not always easily
explained. It is a meeting of mind, heart, body and soul on the highest of
levels. Communication is at its easiest, as they understand you perfectly, and
accept you completely with no judgments. Urban Dictionary
Even after this sophisticated
and transcendental connection, we still break up with our soul mates.
Plato
may be right since his theory represents a superstitious thought rather than
scientific, but today, we witness a great contradiction as people shift from
one love affair into another, as if they were changing clothes. The interesting
questions are, are all human romantic relationships bound to soul mate
conception? If the answer is yes, why then do we have so many divorces every
day? Why do we mistreat our partners? Why do we cheat on our partners? Why do
we continue getting attracted to other people while we have already had a love
partner? Someone could say, all this happens because of falling in love with a
wrong person instead of having fallen in love with your soul mate who would be
somewhere waiting for you. However, other questions would be, why do we let our
feelings lure us into falling in love with wrong people at the first place? How
it is possible that we spend decades of so romantic and delectable times and even
having children with someone we assume to love, and in the end, we divorce?
What if your soul mate dies before having the opportunity to know her/him, are
you then cursed or bound to die miserably alone without having experienced any
romantic relationship with other people?
Rewinding
back into human history, we have lived in complex and dynamic societies, which
involve different cultures. These cultures have evolved through time, weaving
up different social rules and regulations for the betterment of people. One of
the fundamental rules to be considered was marriage, in which people from
different cultures celebrated the unification of two or more people as husband
and wife. Many different marriage types emerged and were noticed in different
geographic parts of the world.Today,
scientists from different areas of studies, especially anthropologists and
sociologists, have discovered various types of marriages around the globe. Some
commonly known are polygyny, polyandry, monogamy.
In
this case, human relationships are more naturally complex than we have ever
thought. From his natural form, the Man has become so malleable to be changed
by his own culture. All people are born non cultural, but as we grow up, we are
all subjected to already structured and rule imposed societies, which play a
big role of modifying the way we think, feel, eat, drink, dress, love and
organize relationships and marriages. Monogamy has become the most known and
dominant marriage around the world, with most of the people advocating the
concept of soul mate, as the bride and the bridegroom vow into living together
until death separate them. Now, is humanity to be identified by the cultural majority
group? If yes, are the cultural minority groups to be considered aliens,
savages, extraterrestrial or perverts?
However,
our natural feelings have proved us wrong by showing our promiscuous complexity,
which leads us into experiencing multiple love affairs. Natural forces of our
feelings have barricaded our reasoning and norms as we witness divorces each
day. Love affairs have brought happiness to some people, as they are capable of
understanding each other and dealing with constant fluctuating emotions, while
to the other side, we have witnessed frustration, which leads to infliction,
rejection, envy, jealousy, suicides and homicides. I do really appreciate marriages
of any kind, and that’s the idea of togetherness. However, my accentuation on
monogamy, is the avoidance of false promises and vows we witness daily in most
wedding ceremonies as couples take oaths before Padres or Priests, assuming the
unbreakable bond of living together faithfully and forever till death separate
them.
It’s
time we came out from the veils of preconceptions and start scrutinizing all
biased information, which mislead our contemporary generations from progression.
Let’s pave the way for the future generations by offering them the legacy of
truth. Love affairs are not predetermined and destined phenomena. If a
relationship didn’t work out, sit down, think and analyze why things came up
like this. Most of the times, it is just a simple fact of misunderstandings and
the lack of matured reason of congruence on both sides. Though it is rare to be obtained in our days,
true and unbreakable love is nurtured by the core essence of understanding,
reasoning, tolerance, acceptance, togetherness and forgiveness among couples
rather than any superstitious destined quest of soul mate ideology. Learning to
love life and people takes us to happy and everlasting path without deception
and hate.
"Anyone can fall in love. Being alone or with
someone, anyone can live happily and peacefully as long you understand deeply
the correlation of human nature and the society" Bennie Umera.
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